Won't someone please come and feed my child

so i don't have to

Published on January 28, 2005 By trina_p In Home & Family

Elana is hitting the terrible twos 10months early. My toddler this week newsletter tells me that all the behaviour she exhibits is perfectly normal and I shouldn't be concerned, but dammit it's frustrating!!

Apparently it's normal for her to be a fussy eater, to refuse foods that she gobbled up with relish the day before - but it's annoying.

Apparently it's normal for her to refuse to eat more then 3 mouthfuls when she used to eat the whole bowl with relatively no problems.

Elana has never been in the same place eating wise as her peers - in particular her friend Caleb. We started her on solids late and I had no idea what to do so we tried just carrots for like 5 days, then just potato - which made her "sick" then peas, then peas and carrots, then pumpkin, then sweet potato - we discovered she liked orange vegetables. We tried some of those baby foods - Heinz and Golden Circle - she seemed to like them one day and hated them the next. So we stuck with "Mummy mash" a combo of orange vegetables and we added some mince and pasta (or rice) and whizzed it together - she seemed to like it. She ate it with no complaints knew when it was dinner time etc
But one day she just stopped
It was a good day if she ate 5 spoons.

A couple weeks ago we decided to try her on solids. Vegetables that weren't whizzed to be unrecognisable and some chicken instead of mince. She was okay the first day but things got progressably worse.
So after Elana's checkup last week we decided to try her on Sausages - chipolatas and bread and cheese -- which she ate REALLY slowly - 4 pieces of sausage and 3 pieces of cheese.

*sigh* so Yesterday Nick and I decided to go back to the MUSH - which she also refused. She cried before I got one spoonful near her mouth.

We're supposed to be starting to wean her off bottles and on to the cup, off formula and onto cows milk - but all she'll eat is her ceral with yogurt in the morning a few centimentres of bread or crackers or cheese througout the day and whatever I can force her to eat at night before one of us breaks down in tears. And 3 bottles one 180ml, and 2 240ml plus some water but it's probably only 25ml that actually gets into her mouth and not on the floor or her clothes.
I'm at the end of my rope.

Comments

Zoomba

on Jan 28, 2005

While not a parent myself, I did have the benefit of watching my best friend as he and his wife went through the first year or so of their daughter's life. I was over there most evenings and afternoons helping out when I could, or just keeping them company (and sane) otherwise. The thing they discovered when their baby wouldn't eat was to not force it.

If she won't eat, chances are she isn't hungry right at that moment. If she refuses, take the plate/bowl/whatever of food and store it. Once she actually is hungry, she'll probably eat whatever you put in front of her. This is not advice to starve your child, but more to let her decide when she's ready to eat (within reason... don't let her get you serving her dinner at 4am). I've seen a lot of parents fight with their children at every meal trying to force them to eat more than they want to. Kids are very much like little adults in that regard. Imagine if someone said you had to eat an entire steak when you were only hungry enough to eat half? Now imagine being forced to sit there until you finished it.

When she's hungry, she'll eat.

foreverserenity

on Jan 28, 2005

Zoomba is correct, don't force her to eat, just put the food away and when she's hungry she'll let you know. Believe it or not, although I've two older children, 15 and 10, my experience with my now 3 year old made me feel as if I was a first time mom! Everything went out the window with her. She did everything differently and still does. Her appetite was just as unpredictable. I'm the one who ended up in tears most of the times because I felt with all my experience as a mom, I had no idea what I was doing! At least I felt like it. The thing I learned with her was to just let her tell me when she was hungry. Because if it was up to me, and my husband, especially him, we would let her eat even when she's not hungry. Especially when to us, she didn't seem to have eaten a lot at the last sitting. So we felt that having a constant supply of food out in the open within reach, would let her eat. It didn't. So, we stopped doing that. Believe me, you're not doing anything wrong.

And you know what, it won't end there with your little one either. Even when she's older, her eating habits will be just as unpredictable! Believe me, been there, done that, still going through it. I have to make sure the 3 year old eats and not eat too much sugar, cause she only wants the food that has lots of sugar! My 10 year old boy, it's like, getting him to eat is an olympic event. All he wants to eat is junk food. No vegetables unless it's covered with lots of cheese or something he likes! The 15 year old, she's a picky eater too, watches what she eats and I have to make sure that, she actually ate for the day. So, it never ends.

! !

I won't even start about weaning my 3 year old off the bottle, that's an event that seemed never ending and the stories I could tell you Trina. So, I'll stop here anyhow, just chin up and enjoy every moment, as frustrating as it is.

msladydeath

on Jan 29, 2005

Ah, this is right up my alley. I have twin 3 yr old girls and a 9 month old boy, (and more cousins than I can count). My daughters went off the bottle with no problems, but have always been really picky eaters. All of them started on the mushy babyfoods at 8 weeks old, it made the transition rather easy that way I guess. Once they got teeth, they refused mush and only would (will) eat adult foods that are cut up. My girls would rather eat bananas till they sprouted roots than eat pork, but they adore cheeseburgers. One of my cousins refused to eat anything but marshmellows for a year straight, but don't like sweets now (he is 16). At 9 months, my son only wants to eat what we eat, so we eat a lot of mashed potatoes and vegetables cooked till soft. I'm not conserned with meats yet since he only has his bottem 2 teeth.

As far as bottle to sippy goes, there are formulas for toddlers out there with the same calories as infant formulas, and there are also Ensure type drinks for toddlers. I would start using those if your worried about calories and nutrition, and the food will handle itself in time. Just keep offering small amounts at meal times and give a second helping if she finishes the first helping.

I wish you the best of luck. And rest easy, children eat when they need to and often in spirts that go along with growth. They may eat a ton of food one day and hardly anything the next and shoot up and inch.

trina_p

on Jan 29, 2005

Thanks for all the advice, I know I'm not supposed to force the issue or stress over it too much but it's kinda hard not to stress when she cries before you get the first spoonful near her mouth. Of anything - it doesn't matter what it is.

My doctor told us that it's okay for her not to be eating vegetables as long as she's getting iron from red meat. And that we should be weaning her off the formula onto regular cows milk. The only thing she really likes to eat is bread or toast she'll steal my toast in the morning and throw it on the floor before picking it up and eating it -- everything that goes into Elana's mouth must first meet the floor test - it's kinda gross but at least she eats something.

*sigh* I guess we'll just muddle through -- look for my article in 10years time when I will complain about her eating us out of house and home.

msladydeath

on Jan 29, 2005

look for my article in 10years time when I will complain about her eating us out of house and home.

.

All doctors have differant opinions on this, you need to go with what feels right for you and your little one. Like I said, my doctor wanted infants started on solids at 6-8 weeks, most doctors say 6-9 months and others want you to wait even longer or start even earlier. You need to do what Your comfortable with.

Toblerone

on Jan 30, 2005

G'day Trina. Thanks for plugging my blog on your site.

As for your problem obviously I don't have that much in the way of advice not being a parent.

I personally hated orange vegtables as a baby. According to my Mum the first solid food I had was mashed pumpkin. I spat it out then and hated it ever since (except for some odd reason I like pumpkin soup but hate plain pumpkin, weird). In fact I've always been fussy about veges of most types. My hatred of vegetables has become so ingrained that now when I find I like a vegetable I am force to reclassify it as something else. For example when I found out I like kidney beans I reclassified them as "Meaty Vegetables" the same goes for Tomatoes.

Hmm, I really am quite strange, why has nobody pointed this out to me?

Teegstar

on Jan 30, 2005

hey there, i hope she comes to and starts eating properly. it's weird, i thought babies must have eat heaps because they grow so quickly. (although elana's helicopter impersonations a few months ago cleared that up pretty quickly)

trina_p

on Jan 30, 2005

helicopter impersonations?!?!?! what helicopter impersonations?

Kenny - I was the same for ages, I hated pumpkin but loved pumpkin soup and pumpkin scones. - but I like pumpkin now
Likewise - although tomato is a fruit I don't like it - I'll eat tomato based pastas etc and tomato sauce and tomato soup but won't eat tomato - and I won't eat salad that's been touched by tomato.

I don't like beans of any kind - except Jelly (coffee, cocoa...) -- well I don't like the vegetable, legume types anyway

Teegstar

on Feb 01, 2005

helicopter impersonations: the combination of the raspberry blowing and the arms going round in circles in front of her face so you couldn't get a mouthful of mush in edgewise.

trina_p

on Feb 01, 2005

oh yeah those - no we're over those, moved on to flat out refusal to open mouth while vigorously shaking head no, pulling away while rubbing eyes no I'm too tired to eat, and holding hands over mouth & putting head down on table like it's all too much don't do it.

Helicopter impressions are now left to the ground when she spins her arms around herself, or blows rasberries on her arms

The really yucky thing is when she walks around blowing rasberries and bubbles of spit are in her mouth like bubble gum - like she blows bubbles with her saliva - gross

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